How to have the perfect first date💄
Take them to one of these places.
I went on a perfect first date at a bar that doesn't exist anymore. The bar was crowded enough to buzz at that ideal level where you can hear each other and no one else, but with enough room for me and my date to easily secure one of its tiny round tables to drink our Negronis at. They tasted like chocolate for some reason but they were strong and poured over big, square ice cubes and gave us something to laugh about. I think we were the only date in the room (a very good thing). We side sat and brushed knees for long enough that it was clear we wanted to make out, so in the appropriately dim room, we did.
The bar was in Boerum Hill, which falls into the requested “Carroll Gardens/Cobble Hill/etc” territory, but like I said, it’s very sadly dead and gone. Even sadder, it's a Café Kitsuné now — a real there goes the neighborhood situation. Still, there are plenty of places fit for first dates that do exist. This is a list of those. Most are in South Brooklyn as requested, a few fall outside of its perimeter. None are designed for dates, meaning they’re not too romantic, extravagant or only patronized by people who are also on dates. A lot have sexy lighting. You won’t have to book weeks out or wait for a table at any of them. These are details that I think optimize any first date, even the ones that also turn out to be your last with someone. Even if it’s a bad date, you’ll know it wasn’t because of the place you picked, it was probably because the other person was boring as hell.
You may know Brooklyn Inn as the bar Chuck tries to save in season 2 of Gossip Girl. It was introduced to me as “the cutest and best bar in Boerum Hill." I don't agree with that, but I do think it's a pretty special bar that lives in the rare area between dive bar and cocktail bar. The historic building sits on a charming corner of an even more charming neighborhood and inside, the ceilings are high, the cocktails are well made, and there are tables, bar seats, and a pool table — something for every type of date.
Personally, I think Long Island Bar is the cutest and best bar in the vicinity, especially for a date. The lighting is dim and warm and no one is ever waiting for you to give your seats back, meaning you could split a burger or you could just drink for hours. It can be crowded but there's always space to hang around with a drink in case you have to wait for a spot. Here, too, you can choose between bar seats, a booth and the counter in the window. You might think sitting in the window is a cute idea, but I'll warn you that once someone who I had a debilitating crush on when I was 21 spotted me through that window while he was walking by and then came in to say hello and catch up. My date did not love that.
Here is where I take a break from telling you where you should go to warn you about where you shouldn’t. Black Mountain Wine Bar is a cozy place to drink a bottle of wine and gossip with your best friends, but it’s not stimulating or sensual enough for date. On the other side of this coin is L’Apéro, the tiny, wine-focused restaurant above L’Appartement 4F’s bakery. I actually really like this place — the wines are wonderful, the food is delicious and the team is very kind and attentive, it feels like having dinner at your chic, close friend’s house — but it’s candlelit and only big enough to hold a few small tables. Go here with the love of your life, not someone you barely know.
Across the street, Elsa always has room, and though it has less charm and grit than Long Island Bar (the vibe is more white marble and pretty cocktails in highball glasses), it’s still a solid date spot. For a fancier date, though be warned that this is probably the most date-y spot on this list, Clover Club has quilted leather booths and an extensive cocktail menu. Apparently the food is good too…
If you want to go on a dinner date, Bar Bête’s menu of simple but exciting French food can be eaten in a dark, sultry dining room. You can also side sit in a booth near the bar here and just order one of their very interesting and delicious cocktails and a slice of the butter yellow cake swooped with salty fudge frosting.
Outside of the South Brooklyn range, Nobody Told Me, specifically the one on the Upper West Side, is cute for a date. The location in Dumbo feels more like a club. In the East Village: Goodnight Sonny is an oasis in a mess of sticky, college kid-packed dive bars. I had a lot of fun walking through the maze of an entrance to my table at Sake Bar Decibel. It’s loud in there, but that’s just a good excuse to lean in closer to your date. Two friends also recommended the nearby Big Bar for its good red lighting. Cherry on Top in Bushwick has red lighting too, but I like it best for warm weather dates on their roof. The charged bar in the lobby of the Bowery Hotel is a classy choice, and so is the Chelsea Hotel’s candelit Lobby Bar full of velvet couches. If it’s going well, share the gorgeous and excellent soft serve and then maybe get a room upstairs?
I’ll leave you with what someone I love dearly replied to my “what’s a good first date spot?” text: the New York Aquarium. Honestly, plus a walk down the boardwalk for a soft serve cone from Williams Candy, I’m into it.
NEXT TIME ON PERFECT CITY:
’s wish is my command. Where to go if you're single, married, or somewhere in between the two is up next.
Not ideal but I’ll take Kitsuné over the deluge of Blank Street Coffee
I've never lived in New York City but I've been meeting friends at Brooklyn Inn for over 20 years. Love that bar.